Then lower them some more.
So often we get caught up in our expectations towards the one whom we love. We have this dream of a spouse who knows us completely, who can mind read, who is perfect and one who doesn’t really exist!
This is something I have really struggled with, and I know will continue to struggle with. You see, I didn’t realise how high my expectations were until one day we had an argument and Mr M pointed out that he wasn’t perfect.
That he couldn’t mind read.
That he was going to make mistakes.
That when I am trying to make a perfect relationship.
We need to find a balance.
This is not to say that sometimes we need to have difficult chats and communicate when the other is causing us pain through their actions. However, it is about simplifying what we expect from the other person. The perfect relationship does not exist, and instead, we must adopt an attitude of grace and forgiveness towards our loved one. No one is ever perfect.
Simplifying what we expect from the other can be an arduous process to go through. Yet through this process, communication is critical. Understand your feelings and emotions and understand what is really important to you. That may be setting aside quality time with each other weekly; it may be that you feel loved when the other empties the dishwasher. But you have to communicate this with them!
For us, we felt we needed to have more fun. In keeping with our word of the year, we realised that we both wanted to enjoy quality time together, doing activities which would create joyful memories.
So our goal this year in 2019 is to create happy memories, to do fun, crazy things that nurture joy and happiness. To communicate the things which we want instead of harbouring resentment when the other doesn’t do as you want them to. We want to simplify our commitments and expectations, so we have space, time and energy to do those fun things.
P.S our list includes paintballing, clay pigeon shooting, and going on a zip wire! We welcome other fun ideas!